PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March of 2012. Managing the site has become too stressful.

“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”

Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th of next year, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.  That gives users (and Facebook addicts) a year to adjust to life without Facebook.

“After March 15th, 2012 the whole website shuts down,” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back after Facebook goes out of business.”

Zuckerberg said the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.

“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.”

Some Facebook users were furious upon hearing the shocking news.

“What am I going to do without Facebook?” said Denise Bradshaw, a high school student from Indiana. “My life revolves around it. I’m on Facebook at least 10 hours a day. Now what am I going to do with all that free time?”

However, parents across the country have been experiencing a long anticipated sense of relief.

“I’m glad the Facebook nightmare is over,” said Jon Guttari, a single parent from Detroit. “Now my teenager’s face won’t be glued to a computer screen all day. Maybe I can even have a conversation with her.”


Those in the financial industry are criticizing Zuckerberg for walking away from a multibillion dollar franchise. Facebook is currently ranked as one of the wealthiest businesses in the world, with economists estimating its value at around 7.9 billion.

But Zuckerberg remains unruffled by these accusations. He said he will stand by his decision to give Facebook the axe.

“I don’t care about the money,” said Zuckerberg. “I just want my old life back.”

The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th, 2012. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.


Jessie J Targeted By Hacker *Oh Dear*

Singer Jessie J has warned her online fans to avoid sending her messages because she’s been targeted by an internet hacker.

The Price Tag hitmaker has been left fuming after an impostor accessed her Facebook.com page and her personal email account.

The singer, real name Jessica Cornish, has taken to her Twitter.com page to warn her online devotees the hacker is posing as her.

She writes, “I have been HACKED and this hacker has now activated my old fb (Facebook) and my email. And Is pretending to be me. PLEASE DO NOT send any personal info on DM’s (direct messages). RT RT (retweet) (before they delete this).”

Think of a more complex password darling!

Facebook Users Hit By Porn Attack

The news feeds of thousands of Facebook users were flooded with violent and pornographic photographs after an attack by hackers, a spokeswoman for the social networking site has confirmed.

Users around the world were confronted with the videos and images – some of which were doctored to show pornographic pictures of celebrities including teen star Justin Bieber.

A Facebook spokeswoman in the UK said that the website had seen an increased amount of spam in the last 24 hours but it was “under control”.

Users were tricked into pasting malicious software into their browsers, which in turn resulted in the sharing of offensive content, she said.

“Protecting the people who use Facebook from spam and malicious content is a top priority for us,” the spokeswoman said.

“Recently, we experienced a spam attack that exploited a browser vulnerability. Our team responded quickly and we have eliminated most of the spam caused by this attack.

“We are now working to improve our systems to better defend against similar attacks in the future.”

The spokeswoman said that no user data or accounts were compromised during the cyber attack.

She said that users should never copy and paste “unknown code” into an address bar, to always use an up-to-date browser and to report any suspicious content.

I wondered what the heck was going on when I saw people commenting on DISTURBING pictures!